today will be better, i swear!

i am (un)interesting, i think it really dpends who you talk to

waking boyfriends up and "fuck ill actually miss you for four days" and  white wine interspersed with Pink Floyd the wall and we're all talking i fell asleep on your arm untill your arm fell asleep under me and then i had to go home to black windowpanes and i skunk chased my way down the street and i jay walked like the motherfucker that i am. 

i hate being the first one to leave. 

and today i tore my room apart and i sat in the middle of the shipwreck and almostcried enough almosttears to drown the planks and the deadshipsails two times over because i dont know where im going and worst of all i dont know how im getting there and the only part i know is that i have to travel alone and without shoes and thats kind of comforting but also kind of weirdly disturbing like sleeping naked in someone elses house or forgetting your name

once i was done painting my face in all the colours of morose i sang songs in bathrooms and realized how much i like people even though they terrify me because they always fucking hurt

dont worry, ill still swear like a sailor and write uncapitalized run on sentences exclusively and eat the red ones last. even when im ninety two

i promise